Planning a Funeral, either for the future or because you have lost someone, is hard. There are many things to consider and think about. The follow is a brief overview and guide to help with the next steps.
What to do when someone dies
If someone has died recently you may need to follow our online guide first before you are ready to plan a Funeral.
Things to think about and consider
• Sometimes, people will have left instructions in a will or in their funeral plan, or may have talked about this with someone nearby. Talk to family members and close friends about planning the funeral. While some may be unavailable to assist, others may wish to participate in funeral details. Whether you assign different tasks to people, or simply ask their opinions about certain things, having that support makes things a little less overwhelming.
• Hire a funeral director to help with all the arrangements. They will walk you through the entire process, step-by-step. When planning your funeral, one of the first decisions to make is whether or not you want to have a funeral director. As it is an incredibly tough time, most people choose to leave arrangements up to a funeral director who can provide general direction and support..
• If your loved one has a funeral plan, they might already have chosen a funeral director. If not, ask around for recommendations or check with the National Funeral Directors Association.
• You do not need to use a funeral director for the entire funeral planning, but one of their major duties is making sure that the person who has died is taken into their care and treated with respect and dignity. Sometimes it may be more cost-effective to handle some aspects on your own, but in a time as difficult as this, it may be best to have the support of a funeral director.
• The most common types of funerals are burial, cremation, and direct cremation. Prices may differ significantly among different options. Burial is generally the most expensive funeral, while direct cremation is generally the least expensive.
• Your loved one may have requested a particular funeral service in a will. But if it is out of your budget, do not fret — instead, pick something that fits within your budget.
• Coffins are typically made from either solid wood, plywood, metal, cardboard, or another biodegradable material.
• To ensure that you are getting a properly sized coffin, you will need to know the height and weight of the person who died. If you have a funeral director, they will be able to show you their line of coffins. However, you do not need to purchase a coffin through them. You might buy it online or through independent companies for less.
• Funerals can get pricey. In fact, in 2021, the average UK funeral costs £4,056. That price does not cover optional extras such as burial, flowers, or transportation.
• You can decide what optional services are required. For instance, do you want to pay for a funeral director to assist, or do you prefer to keep costs down by doing things yourself.
• If the deceased individual had taken out a funeral plan or a death benefit, their policies may pay for the funeral. They may have even had life insurance that might have helped with the cost. Or, they may have kept a little cash in the bank to cover them.
• If that is the case, then the estates executor would be responsible for paying for funeral expenses. Otherwise, the family or friends can pay for the funeral. If that happens, a friend or relative may be able to recoup the cost of the funeral from the estate.
• Have the wake in your own home. This means that you avoid the costly rent of the venue. Having family and friends prepare the food at a funeral can help you avoid hiring a caterer.
• It might be traditional, but there is no need to have your body embalmed if you want to save some cash, and flowers are beautiful, but they’re not essential.
• Many people request donations for charities instead. Get friends and relatives to take care of carrying the casket. This means that you do not need to pay for bearers.
• There are several ways to help cover the costs of funerals. Ask the funeral director for some tips.
• See if they have options, or take on any benefits, that might help. There are also charities which might be able to help, such as The Bereavement Trust. And it is worth checking whether you are entitled to state support with funeral costs.
• In very rare circumstances, your local council might be able to assist with public health funerals as well. Another option is to talk with the deceased’s bank or building society. They may be able to cover funeral costs from the deceased’s accounts.
• Before planning a funeral, find out whether the person you are mourning has made any wishes. They might have left instructions in a will or funeral plan. For instance, do they wish for people to wear colourful clothes, or do they wish to play specific songs.
• Do not push yourself, get help from family and friends if you can. There are a lot of types of funeral services out there. From the traditional chapel service or cremation, to a woodside memorial service to sea burials, there is something for everyone. Alternative funerals are becoming increasingly popular across the UK as well. Your loved one might have asked for a particular service.
• If they did not, you may opt for whatever feels most appropriate. The type of funeral service likely dictates what the mourners should wear. For instance, people often wear more vibrant colours in more contemporary funerals. You may even opt for funerals that do not include a service, like a direct cremation.
• A direct cremation is frequently mentioned as being a “no-fuss” goodbye. It is a cremation in its most rapid, bare-bones form, without any funeral services. Funeral services can be held at a chapel, a place of worship, home, or local place such as the village hall.
• Wherever a funeral is held, a service is often led by a minister, celebrant, a funeral director, relatives or friends. They may be able to assist in the decision of when the service should take place, depending on venue availability. When you arrange a traditional funeral, it is common for the casket to arrive at the service in a hearse. It is then followed by friends and family members in limousines.
• However, you do not need to have to have a hearse and limousine booked just because it is tradition. Some people opt for a more personalized funeral transportation option — tractor, fire engine, and milk wagon, for example! . Or, you could go with something slightly less fancy for your funeral transportation.
• Asking everyone to drive themselves to the service may help reduce costs.
• There are plenty of templates online that will help you create your own order of service.
• On the front cover: Include photo, full name, date of birth, date of death, and a quote or message. Inside – outline the funeral service, so people know what to expect. List the speakers, and include any songs, hymns, readings, poems, and prayers that will be part of the service.
• Last Page — Include another photograph, list charities near and dear to the dead persons heart, say thanks to those who came to the funeral, and offer warm thoughts for those who were not able to attend. It is also an opportunity to say thanks to anyone providing the funeral services. Wrap up with details about the wake, so that people know where to go next. It is also good to incorporate personal touches like family photos and quotes throughout the service.
• Flowers at the funeral service can be a beautiful tribute to your loved one, friends and family may also wish to send flowers as a sign of their respect. However, you could have people make donations to a charity rather than sending flowers. This is quite a common choice when the person who died had a cause they cared about greatly.
• Funeral music and readings are an opportunity to make the service feel more personal.
• If your loved one was religious, why not pick his or her favourite hymns and Bible passages. Or, if they loved rock music or pop, you could opt for something slightly less traditional.
• You can hold your wake at a variety of venues. Some people hold them at home, others at the village hall, a pub, social club, or a hotel. Catering is usually included with venue hire.
• If not, you can either hire a professional caterer or prepare your own meals, depending on your budget. Once the venue is booked, tell people when and where the funeral is. You can decide whether you want it to be a private event, or to keep it open for all to attend.